Adele, Netflix, Carbs, Orangetheory Fitness, Cute Puppies, Bravo…these are a few of our favorite things here at Fish. Take a look at our Fish Ladies group Skype on any given day, and there’s a good chance that we’re talking about one of those. Tonight marks the finale of the Real Housewives of Orange County and the premiere of Vanderpump Rules (a true cinematic masterpiece worthy of every Emmy Award) on Bravo. For me – a true Bravo fanatic who basically worships the ground Andy Cohen walks on – this means that tonight, Christmas/Chanukah (shout out to all my fellow tribe members) has come early. Call me crazy, but after a long day at work using my brain incessantly, all I want to do is lay on my couch with a glass of wine and watch middle-aged women shout at each other. It’s not even a guilty pleasure: I have zero shame.
From New York and Beverly Hills to Atlanta and New Jersey, the Real Housewives series spans across the nation, giving us a sneak peek into the insane lives of some of the cities wealthiest, craziest socialites. Yes, each season features the mindless drama you’d expect, but there is more depth to the show than haters would lead you to believe. Over the years, they’ve conquered divorce, affairs, death of loved ones, parenting hardships…and through it all, (most) of the women persevere. As any true fan knows, following the lives of the Real Housewives can be oddly inspiring – and always entertaining as hell.
There is a lot we can learn about life from the Real Housewives. Don’t believe me? See for yourself…
- “Throw me to the wolves and I shall return leading the pack.” – Lisa Vanderpump. Obviously, this compilation absolutely has to be kicked off with words from Lisa Vanderpump, who is inarguably the queen of Bravo. When you’re the best, you always have a target on your back, and naturally Lisa endured a season of the other women basically bullying her. However, she rose above the drama, went high where they went low (shout out Michelle Obama) and came out on top. Always the best way to handle bullies and petty jealousy.
- “Be cool. Don’t be all, uncool.” LuAnn de Lesseps. Pretty wise words. If you have a choice between being cool or uncool, always choose cool. (Writer’s note: LuAnn is the least cool housewife of all time. But I digress).
- “Diarrhea of the mouth is not a real ailment.” Bethenny Frankel. There’s no excuse for speaking without thinking.
- “I do need to read things.” Teresa Giudice. Take it from the woman who literally went to prison for signing documents that she didn’t read or even understand. Always read everything before you signing your name to it. While you’re at it, picking up a book is always a good move too when trying to better yourself (something that admittedly Teresa has probably not done in decades).
- “Don’t call me honey.” Danielle Staub (aka the biggest nutjob to have ever graced the Bravo world). Patronizing men everywhere, take note. Don’t call me honey, sweetie, babe…generally, my name is always your best bet.
- “I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m pretty.” Kristen Taekman. Know your strengths and know your weaknesses, and own up to them both.
- “I’m very angry this fight took place in front of upstanding members of my community. People I have to see in Dunkin Donuts.” Teresa Aprea. Always keep your composure while in public and remember that you may very well run into the person you caused a scene in front of while in line trying to get your coffee fix.
- “Not matter how many Chanels you borrow, you will never be a lady.” Faye Resnick (better known as the morally corrupt Faye Resnick per Camille Grammer). No matter how many designer bags you own, or borrow, money can’t buy you class. Don’t lean on superficial items to try and prove how classy of a woman you are – people will always see right through it.
- “You are a mean girl and you are in high school. While you are in high school, I am in Brooklyn.” Alex McCord. When someone is being a mean girl and a bully, call them out on it – even if they’re a 45-year-old woman who should certainly know better by now.
- “It’s turtle timeeeeeeeeee.” Ramona Singer. Turtle time is when Ramona pops open the pinot grigio and turns up. The best type of person is one who knows when it’s time to pop open the wine and get the party started. Turtle time is a life lesson that we can all take note of and do our best to imitate.
