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Life in Quarantine As Told by The Real Housewives

Everyone has their go-to that’s keeping them sane in this quarantine: for me, it’s watching Bravo and The Real Housewives. Call me crazy, but there’s just something about middle aged women drinking white wine and screaming at each other that I find soothing, especially in the midst of a pandemic that’s more brutal than a christening on the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Bravo Podcaster Danny Pellegrino recently penned an article about why we should be embracing our so-called guilty pleasures even more so during these difficult times, and I couldn’t agree more. Most reality TV aficionados will tell you that these programs help them relax. I’m personally never more at peace than when I see Lisa Rinna, Porsha Williams, or Ramona Singer in a confessional setting talking about a dinner party they went to or breaking down the politics of room assignments on a group vacation. And when Andy Cohen gathers the cast members in elaborate gowns to rehash their actions on a reunion stage? Heaven. Yes, the future of humanity is as unclear as what exactly Sonja’s team of interns do, but at least we have 40+ seasons of 6+ cities to offer us an escape from reality.

There’s really nothing The Real Housewives can’t make entertaining, even life in quarantine:

When it’s the 6th Friday in a row you’ve spent on your couch

Changing out of your morning sweatpants into your evening sweatpants

Couples by week 3 of being quarantined together

When you’re on your 2nd bottle of wine and 3rd zoom happy hour of the night

Florida and Georgia listening to the medical community telling them reopening too early would be catastrophic

Watching the news before bed

Joining a zoom baby shower with 25 other people, none of whom know how to put themselves on mute

When staring out the window to pass the time is your new hobby

When people start drinking bleach to heal themselves of coronavirus

America in February when the rest of the world was panicking

Your boss trying to boost company morale with a mandatory team zoom happy hour

Non-essential worker life

Anyone who works in PR when someone asks how they’re holding up

When someone washes their hands for less than 20 seconds

Trying to survive quarantine when you don’t know how to cook

When someone is less than 6 feet away from you in line at the grocery store

When the president tweets about TV ratings of his daily press briefings

The coronavirus coming back for wave #2 in the fall

When you eat a bat for lunch and accidentally cause a worldwide pandemic

When you emerge from quarantine after spending 2 months having takeout 3 times a day because you “wanted to support local small business”

Explaining why you’ve become a borderline alcoholic in quarantine

In conclusion, remember that this will all be over eventually, and until then: