For the 5th (and possibly last since quarantine is coming to an end in Florida and I need to get a hobby) installment of Life In Quarantine As Told By…I’ll be featuring queen, icon, legend Britney Spears. Remember, if Britney Spears can survive 2007 (AKA the year that whole shaved head, attacked a car with an umbrella thing happened), we can survive having to wear a mask and working from home for a few months. Life in quarantine is hard, but like Britney said in her iconic 2000 smash hit song, we’re all stronger than yesterday, ain’t nothing in our way.
The article is presented to you by:
When your screen time is up 85% since you downloaded Tik Tok
Defending your choice to cut your own bangs
When your only male colleague starts talking about sports on the team zoom
Boss: can you turn your camera on?
Me:
Parents to their kids on week 9 of homeschooling
Spending $43 to get a $9 sandwich delivered
When restaurants reopen but you still have to socially distance
Snagging the last package of toilet paper
Me 5 seconds after getting a news alert that bars have reopened
January: wow, can’t get worse than Australia fires
February: wow, can’t get worse than Kobe dying
March:
When you thought 2020 was gonna be your year
Accidentally drinking 4 glasses of wine at dinner less than 1 day after saying you were cutting back on drinking in quarantine
When America hits 100,000 cases and decides that means it’s the perfect time to reopen
Opening your credit card bill after developing an online shopping addiction in quarantine
When sweatpants are the only thing that fit you right now
Health experts: if you reopen, people will die
Florida:
When your grandchildren ask you what it was like living through a pandemic
The rest of the world watching Americans behave like baboons
Getting an email from a client with the subject line “COVID Crisis”
My diet in quarantine
When you’re living through a pandemic and everything seems horrible but then a Britney Spears song comes on and life is good again
