Remember when I said my Life in Quarantine series was over since life in quarantine was coming to an end? Well, joke’s on me, since I forgot that I live in Florida AKA the land of the Karens and the home of everyone’s racist uncles. Ramona Singer once said in an episode of The Real Housewives of New York, “I have to laugh otherwise I’ll cry.” While Ramona was technically talking about a drunken tornado by the name of Leah destroying her Hamptons home, the statement is eerily applicable to what it’s like being a Florida resident right now. If I don’t find ways to laugh at the fact that my fellow Florida residents are claiming that wearing a mask is the work of Satan, I’m not going to make it out of this alive. At least we can say that our statewide response to the COVID crisis has been incredibly on brand, considering there’s nothing more on brand for Florida than being a complete sh*t show.
Wondering how we got in this position? Here’s how Floridians decided to respond to standard health and safety guidelines for the pandemic.
“Stay inside”
Floridians:
“Just wear a mask”
Floridians:
“Wash your hands”
Floridians:
“Protect the elderly and vulnerable in your community”
Floridians:
“Don’t cough on other people”
Floridians:
“Wearing a mask has nothing to do with religion”
Floridians:
“Don’t travel on planes”
Floridians:
“Doctors and medical professionals know more than you do”
Floridians:
“Stay 6 feet apart”
Floridians:
Floridians in May:
Floridians in June:
Governor DeSantis in May:
Governor DeSantis in June:
All of America @ Florida
Florida @ all of America
To any other Floridians out there, stay strong. We’ll get through this together (and maybe when it’s safe to travel, let’s all get the heck outta here)
