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Wedding Woes: Thoughts from a Pessimistic Bride-to-be

A few months ago my fiancé and I had to decide whether we were going to keep it simple and elope to a tropical island or plan a wedding, where there is potential for conflict, awkwardness, language barriers and lots of unsolicited opinions.

Before we decided, we had to ask ourselves a couple of questions:

  • Do we like enough people to invite to a wedding?
  • Which family members are currently beefing?
  • Who’s an alcoholic, and how do we keep them away from the 4-hour open bar?
  • Will I be sad if my dad’s not there to walk me down the aisle?
  • Are we going to regret not having ANY family or friends there to experience the day?

We must love subjecting ourselves to torture because here we are T-minus 85 days until ‘the big day.’ Am I excited? Yes. Am I nervous? Heck yes but not for the reasons you may think. Just some of the thoughts running through my brain…

  • Who did we forget to invite to the wedding? (My computer crashed with the invite list – invites were distributed purely on memory – let’s hope that’s still intact!)
  • Is Uncle Fred* going to be creepy and hit on all of my friends? (Name has been changed for anonymity)
  • Will Aunt MJ call my stepmother Jean again (my mom’s name)? *Fingers crossed.
  • Is my father going to try to speak Spanish after a few glasses of Titos on the rocks? Yes, definitely. My fiancé’s Cuban family will surely get a kick out of this – one can only hope.
  • Will my father finally unveil the footage from the house party I threw at 16 where MTV filmed an episode of True Life: I’m a High School Student? Please no.
  • Will by fiancé outshine me with his ridiculously skilled salsa moves? Most certainly – my two step does not measure up.

Despite the anxiety, I am putting my best bridezilla game face on and ready for our June wedding, where the majority of our 50 guests may or may not like each other. Should be a blast. Wedding crashers are strongly encouraged.