For my third installment of Life In Quarantine As Told By…I’ll be using the borderline-degenerate cast of Vanderpump Rules, a trailblazing reality TV masterpiece (seriously, season 2 is Breaking Bad/The Sopranos/The Wire level quality TV). Check out the Fish blog for my previous The Real Housewives and Schitt’s Creek installments – shout out to whoever created gifs on the internet for giving me something to keep me entertained during quarantine!
When your parents ask how you’re keeping busy and you don’t want to tell them you’ve done nothing but watch reality TV and drink wine
Reading stories about major corporations taking PPP loans when small business owners were denied
Catching your reflection when you haven’t washed your hair in over a week
Health experts: don’t touch your face or you’ll get corona
Me every 5 seconds:
When you’re turning 30 during Summer 2020
Seeing pictures of people storming city hall with guns because they’re mad they have to wear a mask and can’t get their nails done #America
Getting your 17th zoom invite for a meeting that could have been an email
5 minutes after your 3rd mental breakdown of the day
When the Call Her Daddy drama goes down and you finally have some fresh entertainment
When you’re working from home with your significant other and find out you’re married to the kind of person who says things like “Let’s circle back,” “Synergy,” and “Think outside the box”
When that stimulus check hits
Health experts when asked if things will be better soon
Falling asleep to the sweet sounds of the latest news report telling us we’re all gonna die
Coronavirus making its grand return for wave 2
Remembering that after coronavirus we still have to deal with hurricane season, climate change and a presidential election in November
The government in February: coronavirus is a hoax, we have no cases, this will all go away soon
The government in March:
When someone says they’re practicing social distancing but are posting on Instagram at other people’s houses
Dr. Fauci when the government does something he explicitly said they shouldn’t do
That friend who shares 20+ articles a day in your group chat about how we’re all going to die
Seeing corona cases spike after states reopen too early because Karen really wanted to be able to go to her local Applebee’s again
Every girl when DIY tie dye suddenly became the quarantine trend
Most of America: shelter in place until further notice
Florida:
